Ho-tel, Mo-tel, Holiday Inn…

More  like a Hoe-tel.

Seriously, the amount of hoes that can be staying in one hotel is crazy. There was the Sheraton in the Meadowlands back in the day and rumor had it there were up to 100 working girls in that hotel at any given time.

It was well known at the time, all the escort agencies were paying off the cops in the area so no one was getting busted.

Working out of hotels is how lots of girls start in this biz. I don’t know much about street walkers cuz I never was one and I never really knew any personally.

The ones I did know of in passing by were all addicted to drugs and looked beat up. Walking the beat like that is tough and the money is not good.

The girls working out of hotels are making anywhere from $100-$1000 an hour. And the hotels are anything from a Red Roof Inn to a Grand Hyatt. When you are turning tricks, it’s all the same shit. Trust me, I worked them all.

Staying in hotels was cool at first. Comfortable beds, room service, pools, gyms the whole shit but after a while it sucks. Lugging all your shit around, candles, music (this is if you are a dope provider as I was) and checking in and out of places is really nerve wrecking.

Then you have to hope that house keeping is not around when your clients come to visit. Nothing off about 4-5 different men entering the same hotel room in one day.

Sometimes at more ghetto ass agencies we had to share rooms, 2 beds of course but when one whore got a John the other had to leave. It was not so bad, those were actually some fun days. We had lots of girls from Cali and the mid west coming to Jersey to work.

Believe it or not Jersey was the spot for girls to come work for quite sometime.

And one popular spot was the ho-tel, mo-tel Holiday Inn in Edison…

One Love,


Cash Rules Everything Around Me, C.R.E.A.M.

I am a cash only type of hoe.

I don’t do credit or debit cards, I take my payment at the time of service and I leave it at that.

Sure many girls try to finagle this shit into a legit business but I don’t. Maybe I should have but I didn’t and now I fear I am in too deep to ever go legit with this shit.

A big part of me does not want to go legit with this, I am not proud of this,  this is not what I want to be known as.

Cash is all I know. Cash represents the one thing this country was founded on, The American fucking Dream.

Cash is a free pass to do whatever the fuck you want to do in life.

Cash is more addicting than ANY drug, I don’t give a fuck. If you stopped one day and realized that MILLIONS of dollars of cash have touched the palm of your hand, you too would know what it feels like to be addicted.

I am addicted to cash not only because it has bought me M3’s, Gucci, YSL and lots of education. I am also addicted because I have been dead broke and starving.

If you have ever been dead broke and starving, having cash is the ULTIMATE security blanket.

Why? Cuz cash means I can go buy it NOW. No payments, no credit, no interest, no dumb shit just me buying whatever I need NOW.

Cash fills my fridge and keeps a roof over my head. 2 things I didn’t have at points in my life.

Cash let’s me know that when I wake up tomorrow I will have the ability to feed my 3 dogs and the 13 stray cats I care for.

Cash says ‘In God We Trust’ but in my life, it’s ‘In Cash I Trust’.

One day I just want to run away, that is my dream, to haul ass to Mexico or Hawai’i, farm the land organic style and smoke my trees.

I will buy my land with cash.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me, Just like it did The Clan.

One Love,


Forever Never Seems That Long Until You’re Grown…


I ask myself every damn day…will I be doing this forever?

And obviously the answer is NO. But truthfully the only reason why it’s NO is cuz I am going to get ‘old’ and this game is not a game for the elderly.

It’s kinnda like hip hop…there are no 50 year old rappers. Why? Cuz by 50 they should be out, made that money and moved on to owning labels, retired in Florida, doing whatever it is retired hustlers do.

At the age of damn near 36 I am already a fucking oldie in many ways. Especially in this industry. My saving grace is, minus some of my clients, no one knows how ‘old’ I really am. I am super fit and healthy and I have excellent skin genetics. I still get carded for tobacco products, Dutch Masters, to be precise.

Most people peg me to be anywhere from 25-28, I have not heard someone tell me I look 30 since I was 28. To me this is not something I can not even joke about, this is how I make a living. Maintaining my appearance is a full time job and a costly one too. I enjoy it though and to save money I do it all myself minus my nails/toes (short in black or white) and my Japanese perm.

I spend HOURS a day working out and taking care of my skin. I get lots of sleep and eat a plant based diet. I am proud to say, I am all natural, I never touched my face, I rock very small boobs and I don’t even dye my hair. I am lucky to have no gray, another thing I work hard to keep away.

In order for me to make a living in this world I have to maintain pretty much, unattainable/not maintainable looks and physique. Sure there is a market for less than that but I want to retire, not dwell in this shit.

I already feel as if I have been in this shit forever and it is like Outkast said…’Forever never seems that long until you’re grown…’

One Love,


It’s All The Same Game, All The Same Pain…

In my world there are 3 type of people…pimps, hoes and John’s.

Well…and cops.

You have good and bad in each category.

Again, remember ‘good’ is a relative word.

Is a pimp ‘good’ cuz he gives you a good split and does not beat you? Yet he makes you have sex with him in a seedy hotel as an ‘audition’ as his wife and child wait in the car, in the parking lot….

Is John ‘good’ cuz he see’s you regularly, compliments you and gives you tips? Yet he knows you were sexually assaulted and raped as a child…

Is a whore ‘good’ cuz she cares for her clients, shows up on time and stays discrete? Yet she has a partner she lies to about her line of work…

In the real world you have bosses, employees and clients….

If you are lucky have a ‘good’ boss, gives you a raise, a promotion, takes you golfing but everyone knows he will axe your job the second his is on the line.

You have a ‘good’ employee who works hard and plays fair yet you know the second they get a better job offer, no matter how long they have worked for you, they are out the door.

Then you have the ‘good’ client, loyal, pays on time and does good business. Never mind the fact they are constantly consciously or subconsciously looking for a cheaper replacement for your and your services.

So see your world, my world, same shit.

I worked in corporate America for a handful of years in my early 20’s, did well, wore Armani, drove a BMW, blah blah blah so please note, I have experience in both.

I made a choice to leave a very good job with excellent advancement opportunities at a young age. I could have been very successful in the corporate world and  I obviously have thought about that decision I made so many years ago, often.

And I come to the same conclusion…I would have still ended up on this road.

So trust me when I say, The Lost Boyz were correct when they said, ‘It’s all the same game, all the same pain…’

One Love,



Everytime I Felt That Was That, It Called Me Right Back…

I guess by all means people would ask me something like ‘Well it’s been 12 years, why have you not left the business yet?’

And I guess by all means I equate that shit to me asking you why you have not left your job of a dozen years in which you have moved up from worker to manager to boss?

See, there is forward movement in my world if you are not on drugs and not an asshole.

Just like the ‘real world’ in many ways.

Except in my world if you slip off your game for even a second, you don’t get reprimanded by a boss, you get cuffed by a cop.

We all live the same life, we all wake up and go to work, eat with and deal with the same shit.

You may think I make more money than you and in some ways I do.

But remember my upkeep is way higher…

And I also have to have enough money to have a lawyer and bail at my disposal.

Why don’t l leave? Well maybe because I have invested ‘the best years of my life’ into this shitty ass world and I want to see it through.

I have studied many things on the side to prepare me for my eventual departure/retirement from this shit world, I save my pennies and I take care of myself.

After so many years of doing this for a living and crying, stressing over this and asking ‘Why?’ about this, I have accepted my destiny for what it is.

I work hard, I care for myself and my clients and I treat all beings with kindness.

And let’s be clear, in 12 years I have attempted to leave this industry many times but something always happens.

It’s just like Jay-Z said…’Everytime I felt that was that, it called me right back…’

One Love,




First Things First…

This is so crazy, I cannot believe I am writing about my life in the underworld.

Yes, I refer to the adult sex industry as the underworld because 99% of it is disgusting bullshit.

I mean even the way a worker can act at times will repulse herself. The things people in this business have done for money, drugs and/or payback are sick.

I fortunately came into this world in a bad spot but with a good head on my shoulders. Minus the first year or two, I stayed away from the drugs and drama.

The ‘pimps’ aka ‘madams’ were in my life for a couple of years but I quickly tired of them as well.

No matter what I do in life I refuse to work for someone I am smarter than. And after 12 years, I have yet to meet anyone in this shit ass lifestyle as smart as I am. That is not a brag, we’re talking about fucking hookers and pimps here, not exactly the ‘Rhodes Scholars’ of society.

Maybe some of these bitches are more ‘educated’, more ‘refined’ but they are not as smart. The smartest ones in this game are the ones you don’t know about.


If you are doing this and you are all over the internet, all bragging about how proud you are to be doing this for a living, well in my eyes you are a fool.

Becuase no matter how much you charge, no matter how good you look, no matter how much YSL and Gucci you can afford…you still get men off for a living, just like the crack head street-walker walking the beat.

So this is what it is, no gloss, no make up, no acting like the money is even remotely worth it. Because if you are mildly sane and in this business, no amount of money can or will make it ok.

It just is not an ok life.


Everyone else can front, I choose to keep it real.

One Love,