Everytime I Felt That Was That, It Called Me Right Back…

I guess by all means people would ask me something like ‘Well it’s been 12 years, why have you not left the business yet?’

And I guess by all means I equate that shit to me asking you why you have not left your job of a dozen years in which you have moved up from worker to manager to boss?

See, there is forward movement in my world if you are not on drugs and not an asshole.

Just like the ‘real world’ in many ways.

Except in my world if you slip off your game for even a second, you don’t get reprimanded by a boss, you get cuffed by a cop.

We all live the same life, we all wake up and go to work, eat with and deal with the same shit.

You may think I make more money than you and in some ways I do.

But remember my upkeep is way higher…

And I also have to have enough money to have a lawyer and bail at my disposal.

Why don’t l leave? Well maybe because I have invested ‘the best years of my life’ into this shitty ass world and I want to see it through.

I have studied many things on the side to prepare me for my eventual departure/retirement from this shit world, I save my pennies and I take care of myself.

After so many years of doing this for a living and crying, stressing over this and asking ‘Why?’ about this, I have accepted my destiny for what it is.

I work hard, I care for myself and my clients and I treat all beings with kindness.

And let’s be clear, in 12 years I have attempted to leave this industry many times but something always happens.

It’s just like Jay-Z said…’Everytime I felt that was that, it called me right back…’

One Love,

G.

 

 

First Things First…

This is so crazy, I cannot believe I am writing about my life in the underworld.

Yes, I refer to the adult sex industry as the underworld because 99% of it is disgusting bullshit.

I mean even the way a worker can act at times will repulse herself. The things people in this business have done for money, drugs and/or payback are sick.

I fortunately came into this world in a bad spot but with a good head on my shoulders. Minus the first year or two, I stayed away from the drugs and drama.

The ‘pimps’ aka ‘madams’ were in my life for a couple of years but I quickly tired of them as well.

No matter what I do in life I refuse to work for someone I am smarter than. And after 12 years, I have yet to meet anyone in this shit ass lifestyle as smart as I am. That is not a brag, we’re talking about fucking hookers and pimps here, not exactly the ‘Rhodes Scholars’ of society.

Maybe some of these bitches are more ‘educated’, more ‘refined’ but they are not as smart. The smartest ones in this game are the ones you don’t know about.

Period.

If you are doing this and you are all over the internet, all bragging about how proud you are to be doing this for a living, well in my eyes you are a fool.

Becuase no matter how much you charge, no matter how good you look, no matter how much YSL and Gucci you can afford…you still get men off for a living, just like the crack head street-walker walking the beat.

So this is what it is, no gloss, no make up, no acting like the money is even remotely worth it. Because if you are mildly sane and in this business, no amount of money can or will make it ok.

It just is not an ok life.

Period.

Everyone else can front, I choose to keep it real.

One Love,

G.